What is this disease called Dementia and who is my father?

What is this disease called Dementia and who is my father?

In my last post on Dementia, many people wrote heart touching messages to me in my personal email ID. I was feeling overwhelmed.

Some people say – Dementia is a disorder, not a disease. Whatever it might be, my experiences as I dive deep into the world of Dementia gave me a spectacular view of a different world which at times seems so beautiful.

A few days back as I walked into my father’s room in the morning, he was struggling with his clothes. He has forgotten the sequence – he will put on his sweater and then try to wear his shirt and so on.

It is very important to maintain a pleasant mood before such a person. If you show irritation or impatience the mood will latch onto him and he will start fumbling more and more. So I gently guided him and after some time he was successful in clothing himself properly. I complimented him on his success and he smiled at me happily like a small child who has got his maths correct.

After that, I asked him, where he would like to go for our daily outing. He thought for some time and in a voice like a child started describing a place to me. After listening for some time, I could understand that he was describing the 500 years old monastery of Barpeta.

My father’s ancestral house is at a walking distance from the 500 years old Monastery of Barpeta, which was established by the great 15th-century reformer Saint of Assam, Srimanta Sankardeva.

The monastery called “Kirtanghar” in common parlance was a very important part of the lives of the people from those parts. In fact, their day to day lives revolved around the Kirtanghar which acted as an important pivot.

Now I know, it will not be possible to take him to that place, on that date. The journey of 300 KMS will be too strenuous for him and I have my office to attend. But seeing his sadness I felt bad.

I took him in my vehicle for a simple trip when my brother gave me an idea of taking him to a small newly established monastery near our house. The place was in a posh locality. As we got down from the vehicle the tunes of a beautiful “Borgeet” wafted from the monastery.

For non-Assamese people, let me explain that Srimanta Sankardeva created a lot of scriptural based classical music and hymns. They are wonderful and soothing and somewhat similar to the renderings of the Guru Granth Sahib by the Sikh Ragis. In Assamese, we call the priests “Aatoi” or “Bhakat”. They are trained people who maintain the Namghar or monastery in all aspects.

My father walked into the Namghar like a man in a dream. I helped him sit down inside and sat by his side. The Namghar was in a posh locality filled with busy people. Since it was a working day so there was no one other than the “Aatoi” who was singing his prayers all alone.

My father sat silently for a few moments but I could see a deep sense of peace within him. Then suddenly my father started singing along with the “Aatoi”. Most of the hymns were set in a classical language and I could barely understand them. But my father joined in each and every prayer and continued with proper pronunciation.

When the prayers ended the “Aatoi” welcomed my father with a smile and requested him to come again. My father accepted happily. On our return journey, he explained to me the inner meaning of the verses that were sung on that day. Most of the verses were lyrical poetry and extremely pleasant even in prose.

As I left for my office, he still failed to recognize me as his elder son and treated me like I am a nice stranger. He thanked me for taking him to that nice place.