The Mist - IV (Concluding part)

The kiss that Dorothy planted on my lips – germinated into a fully blooming flowering tree and it was the only solace in an otherwise hopeless situation that I was caught in. As I sat on the ramshackle vehicle and made my way back to Guwahati, the enchanting feel of the kiss stayed with me.

I reached Guwahati where the situation was really dangerous and tried to pick up the pieces of my life and protect myself from a dark whirlpool of violence that was sucking everyone in.

When I was in the depths of depression, three events occurred, that in a way made a momentous change in my life.

The first incident was painful for me in the beginning. Our mentor, the senior guy who enrolled us into the extremist organization and assigned us the task of smuggling weapons from outside, was suddenly killed by a rival faction of the extremist group. Although, a very distressing event for us, it freed us from the shackles of the organization. No one else knew about our level of involvement with the group. We took this opportunity to keep quiet and stay away from the extremist organization. After a few days, when no one contacted us we realized that we are free men now.

The second incident was beyond expectation. The result of my bachelor’s degree was announced and I had done very well. I was a rank holder in the university. It was a great piece of news for many. It brought a shine to my life and made my parents happy.

The third incident was again unexpected. I crossed the entrance test for a post graduate course in the premier business school in the North East. I decided to shift from the subject of Geology to Management and joined the institute with a lot of hopes.

These three incidents made me feel like a sailor whose ship had crossed the stormy sea and anchored in a beautiful port. My chaotic life again had a purpose and above all, I started having the hope of better days.

Thoughts of Dorothy never left my mind.

I decided to make one more trip to the misty hills where Dorothy lived. I have been brought up with certain moral teachings where physical relations before marriage is frowned upon and considered to be a taboo. However, the thoughts of the last kiss made it very hard for me to anchor my thoughts within the moral parameters of society. I started having spicy thoughts and ideas of my next meeting with Dorothy.

Before going to the hills, I met my friends who were studying medicine and discussed Dorothy’s illness in detail. As I spoke about the Snake God that drinks her blood all my friends laughed out loudly. Sitting in the brightly lit hostel room of my friends the whole thing seemed ridiculous, even to me. When I came to the part of offering my blood to the Snake God, they were impressed. They said it is a new way to impress a girl.

After some time they sat down seriously and prescribed medicines for her. They even consulted their seniors based on my feedback of her symptoms. As per them, Dorothy was having some kind of infection which results in her having intermittent fever. They prescribed Antibiotics for her fever and also gave vitamin tablets to counter the anemia. Since I was a poor student they arranged for the medicines from their hospital supply.

It was a chilly but sunny day of January 1989 when I started my journey to the hills to meet Dorothy and cure her of all her mental and physical illness. I was attracted to her for sure.  

As I got down from the ramshackle bus that dropped me near to her village, my steps had a dance in them. It was a sunny day with a light breeze and the world looked absolutely beautiful. I walked down the small road till I reached her hut. I opened the wooden gate and walked to the porch of her house. I found her house locked and decided to sit outside for some time, till she comes back.

After waiting for half an hour I went out in the village looking for Dorothy. I had a language problem in interacting with the villagers. However, seeing me, a few little children who were playing outside, started calling someone. Hearing their call, the old woman with the wrinkled face came out of a small hut.

Her sleeves were rolled up and two little children were playing hide and seek with her apron. As she walked towards me, she recognized me and did not smile back. The little children stopped playing and hiding behind her massive frame just put out their faces and observed me.

I explained to the old woman that I have come to meet Dorothy. Without a single word, she beckoned me to follow her. We walked back to Dorothy’s hut where she opened the lock with a key that she took out from her apron.

As I walked inside Dorothy’s house, I saw that the fireplace did not have any burning log but only ashes. The house was same but it seemed uninhabited. The old woman opened a window and the house became lighted with a diffused glow. On the dining table where Dorothy and I used to have our food, I found a piece of paper covered by a small bowl.

I took the paper, it was a letter to me from Dorothy and sitting on the porch, I started reading it. The letter was written fifteen days previous to my visit. The date was on the top right corner. The letter went something like this:

Hello Stranger

Unfortunately, I will have to say my final Goodbye to you in this manner. The Snake God refused your blood and is still living on my blood. I have been suffering from intermittent fever and feeling so weak. I do not know if today is the last night for me. I am putting my thoughts on paper so that someday you can understand my predicament.

You know Stranger, being sick is not hard but being lonely is. My whole family was cursed by the Snake God who lived on our blood. Of all of them, I think I was cursed the most and I suffered the most because I remained alive till the last.

After my mother died of high fever and anemia there was no one to hold my hand and hug me. I understood that an early death is an inevitable part of my destiny but what made me terrified was the absolute loneliness that I had to go through. We never had any friends, the villagers were afraid of us. It was only Aunty who took some kindness on me and started helping me with the household chores. Even she was afraid to hug me or hold my hand. The utter loneliness that I suffered from made me a wretched and miserable creature. One day, I prayed to the Snake God and asked him to remove my loneliness.

And then, Stranger, you came out of the mist and took refuse in my humble hut. I was delirious with fever and decided to allow you to stay for the night. When you slept in front of the fireplace and helped me in drinking a glass of water in the night, I realized that you have been sent by the Snake God to lessen my pain.

I shall never forget the glass of water and the cool touch of your firm hands. They were wonderful, to say the least. I thanked the Snake God for your company.

Do you remember Stranger, the wonderful gospel song that you sang in the night when I was sick with the fever? It was so soothing. And then you decided to offer your blood in lieu of mine to the Snake God. Why Stranger? Why? I am not convinced by your story of being chased by the Army. You did not love me Stranger and I appreciate your honesty in saying so. You are so enigmatic, Stranger.

I do not think anyone can put our relationship in words. Our relationship, although short was very intense and deeply satisfying for me, especially when you hugged me in the deep night. Your hug was the best thing that happened to me in my short life.

My eyes are burning and my whole body is shaking. I shall not be able to write anymore. Maybe today will be the last night of my miserable existence.

Farewell Stranger, I shall pray to the Snake God to bless you.

Finishing the letter, I asked the old woman, “Is she dead”? The old woman made a sign of the cross and said, “Yes”.

The pain inside my heart was dull and throbbing. I asked the old woman to take me to her grave. We walked in the beautiful sunlit path towards the church. Behind the church was the graveyard. It did not take me long to locate her grave in the small graveyard.

The freshly dug earth marked her grave since she had died only fifteen days back. Light green grass and tiny wildflowers were already sprouting out of the grave. Dorothy was a poor girl. No tombstone marked her grave, but only a ramshackle wooden cross. The wooden cross was sagging under its own weight. It will not be long before no trace will remain of her grave. The earth will claim all as always. Dorothy died unknown and uncared for, sacrificing her life for the well-being of the whole village.

I cried for some time near to her grave. The old woman wiped her eyes on her sleeves and consoled me by patting my back. Tired and drooping with sadness, I collected some wild flowers from the beautiful meadow nearby and making a small bunch put them gently on her grave. I also took out the packet of medicines from my backpack and kept them near to the flowers.

Bidding adieu to the old woman I walked back through the same dirt road. I heard the chirping of little birds all throughout my journey. I remembered an old Gospel song that we used to sing.

This world is not my home

I am just a passing through

If heaven’s not my home then

Lord, what shall I do?

The angels beckon me

From heaven’s open door

And I can’t feel at home

In this world anymore

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Many, years had passed after Dorothy’s demise but her ghost still comes to me. Whenever I go to misty mountain tops I feel her presence. She comes out of the mist and smiling at me says, “Hello Stranger, will you hug me please, I am so lonely.”

When I try to hug her nothing remains except for the all-encompassing mist.