Escapades of a PSU Executive - The foaming river.

Escapades of a PSU Executive – VII

This is an imaginary series of the experiences of an idiotic PSU executive, working in a ‘Global fortune 500’ company. Please note that any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.

The Idiot was born mediocre. Teliya Oil rightly considers the Idiot as a very mediocre person. The Idiot has reconciled himself with that situation.

This small incident will prove why the Idiot can never break the barrier of “VG” and reach the “OS” rating in his EMPS or APA.

The foaming river.

This incident happened when the Idiot was posted at Mohanbari Airport.

Mohanbari was the gateway to Doom Dooma AFS, Passighat AFS and Along AFS. Any senior officer of the aviation department who had to visit these locations first came to Mohanbari AFS from where the arrangements were done for visiting these upcountry locations, by the Idiot.

It was the month of August and the whole of Assam was facing the onslaught of the annual floods. There was a special meeting in Dibrugarh Airport, where the district administration discussed action that can be initiated in case the Brahmaputra breaches its embankment and floods the airport.   

During that period an officer named Boka Nath Sengupta landed in Mohanbari Airport. He was from the Eastern Regional Office at Kolkata. His assignment was to go to Passighat AFS to conduct the half-yearly inspection of the location.

To reach Passighat from Mohanbari there were two options – by boat or by helicopter of Pawan Hans. During the monsoon, both the methods of the movement were tough and horrendous.

Boat movement took a long time and sometimes a white mist engulfs the whole river. In such cases, the visibility becomes very low. The boatman stalls the engine of the boat to avoid any collision with other boats or driftwood. When the boat is stuck due to low visibility the journey might extend up to 8/10 hours. Passengers, especially ladies face a lot of problem with their toilet needs. Sometimes, gents or ladies in dire urgency, perform their defecation or urination in complete public view by going to the side of the boat.

The whirlpools of the Brahmaputra River are terrifying. The whirlpools have a diameter of 6/7 meters and the sound of the gushing water being pulled down can be heard above the engine of the small boat. Anybody who happens to see a whirlpool from nearby will be terrified. In Assamese, it is called “Saknoiya”.

Similarly, Helicopter travel, although short, is very tormenting. The strong wind blows the helicopter like a matchbox. One can feel the effort of the pilot in trying to keep the helicopter on track. Sometimes, white mist reduces the visibility to zero and the pilot flies only on the strength of his instruments and his past experience. The buffeting by the wind literally causes stomach upset for the passengers and some passengers are known to urinate in their clothes in fear while flying. 

Mr B N Sengupta, after reaching the AFS asked for the telephone and had a long discussion with his Doctor in Kolkata. It was apparent that the thoughts of the journey the next day have taken him to the verge of a nervous breakdown. After taking his Doctor’s advice he opened his medicine box and took a Calmpose. The Idiot saw that in his medicine box, in addition to other common medicines he also had tranquillizers like Equirex, etc.

Actually, BN Sengupta cannot be blamed. The journey was tough even for the local people and for a person born and brought up in Kolkata it is doubly so. Moreover, he had a bad experience in the boat travel in the previous year and so was aware of the situation.

Next day, which was a Monday, Boka Nath left for Passighat by the helicopter which reported on time. The weather was reasonably fine and he reached Passighat hale and hearty.

The problem started on the day after that. After the inspection on Tuesday, he was supposed to return on Wednesday in the morning. Due to extremely bad weather and severe precipitation, the helicopter movement on Wednesday was called off. The Idiot cancelled Sengupta’s Dibrugarh – Kolkata return ticket. The next helicopter flight to Passighat was on Saturday so Boka Nath was effectively stuck up in Passighat till Saturday.

On Thursday morning the Idiot got a call from Tarak Nath Guha, who was a Chief Manager of the Aviation Department and posted in Kolkata. Now, this Tarak Nath was a very interesting character. His heart was pure but his talk was rough and uncouth. Due to his rough behaviour where he uttered words without thinking, he had a long history of trouble with the employees’ union. 

The conversation went something like this,

Tarak Nath: Where is BN?

Idiot: Sir, he is in Passighat, because yesterday the helicopter flight was cancelled. He can catch the next flight on Saturday.

Tarak Nath: Tell him to come back immediately, by boat. We have a lot of pending work here. He cannot delay his departure till Saturday. Bloody fool enjoying in Passighat while we are working our ass off in Kolkata.

So the Idiot rang the office number in Passighat. The location in charge Mr Poddar picked up the phone and handed over the receiver to Boka Nath.

The Idiot, “Sir, Guha Sir wants you to come back by boat”.

Boka Nath: (Shouting hysterically), “WHO IS TARAK NATH? DOES HE THINK I AM HIS BONDED LABOUR? WHY WILL I TAKE A BOAT JOURNEY BACK JUST BECAUSE HE SAYS SO? JUST BY GETTING ONE PROMOTION IN TIME HE SHOULD NOT THINK HE IS GOD. DOES HE THINK I AM ENJOYING AND EARNING TA/DA HERE?  IF NECESSARY I SHALL TAKE CL AND HALT IN PASSIGHAT TILL I GET THE HELICOPTER”.

Boka Nath (In a sobbing voice), “Even if I die here and my bones rot in Passighat, still my dead body will never make the boat journey”.

The Idiot politely said, “OK Sir”.

A few minutes afterwards Tarak Nath again rang.

Tarak Nath:“Did you tell Boka Nath to come back by boat?”

The Idiot said, “Yes, Sir”

Tarak Nath: “What was his response”.

The Idiot, “He expressed reluctance”.

Tarak Nath (In angry voice), “Ok I will tell Chatterjee”.  

Actually, Chatterjee was DGM (Aviation) and the Idiot could guess that the situation is getting messy.

The Idiot felt sorry for Boka Nath who was a good man. Boka Nath was in such a frantic state that the Idiot was afraid that he might die of a heart attack.

About half an hour afterwards, the Pawan Hans helicopter landed and the Idiot went to refuel it. The pilot was an old hand named Capt. Solomon. The Idiot decided to take some proactive action. He very politely requested Capt Solomon to make an additional sortie to Passighat and pick up yesterday’s passengers.

Now Capt. Solomon was a man of few words. After listening to the request of the Idiot he studied his flight plan for the day and calling the head of the ground staff said gruffly, “After I come back from Along and Inkiong, I will make an additional sortie to Passighat, if weather permits. Please make the arrangements accordingly. Inform all the passengers that my last sortie to Naharlagun might be delayed”.

When the Idiot informed Boka Nath, that the helicopter is coming to Passighat, Boka Nath was delirious with joy. After reaching Mohanbari on Thursday, Boka Nath thanked the Idiot profusely and emotionally and left for the hotel. While boarding the morning flight to Kolkata on Friday, he said, “I will try to get a commendation letter from Mr Chatterjee for you”.

The Idiot continued working at peace with himself and his organization.  

On Monday morning the Idiot got a call from Kolkata. Hearing the husky voice he recognized that Mr Chatterjee, the DGM is on the line. The conversation went like this:

Chatterjee: Idiot?

Idiot: “Sir, Good Morning, Sir”

Chatterjee: “BN told me that you arranged for an additional sortie to Passighat on Thursday?”

Idiot: “Yes Sir, I approached Capt Solomon who was a very good person and he acceded to my request and made an additional trip to Passighat”. (By this time the Idiot was dreaming of how nice the framed commendation letter will look in his office table)

Chatterjee: (In a loud voice) “Tell me one thing, if you can request Capt Solomon on Thursday, what prevented you from requesting him on Wednesday and arranging a sortie. Your reaction time is always late and you are never proactive. I think I have done a mistake in making you location in charge. Quick thinking should be the forte of a location in charge, and you lack that”.

The Idiot’s thoughts became vague and nebulous after that. He felt deflated like a previous day’s balloon that has been discarded by the children, after playing. He had a cup of tea and then something nice happened.

After a rainy spell of more than a week, the clouds cleared and the blue sky was visible. The sunny day and the blue sky acted as a mood elevator and the Idiot became happy. The Idiot also rationalised. Whatever he did was for Boka Nath and not for anyone or anything else, hence nothing much to ruminate on or worry about.

So, friends, the Idiot is never demoralized when he is rated OS in the first/second stage and downgraded to VG in the last stage. He is genuinely VG and there is no point in being bitter with his big Bosses, who rate him as such.